Author : Niki

‘Beloved, let us love and seek the best for one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love has not become acquainted with God, for God is love…We love, because He first loved us.’ (1 John 4:7-8, 16 AMP)

Before we talk about the loving God, we must first understand the concept. What is love? 1 Corinthians: 13:4-8 tells us what perfect love is. Love endures with patience. What does it mean for us to be patient with God? So many things in life don’t seem to happen when we want them to, so how can we trust God’s timing? 1 John 4:16 states that we will know the love God has for us ‘by personal observation and experience’.

In my personal experiences with God, I knew at a young age that I wanted to be a worship leader when I got older. I wanted to use my voice to help people experience the love of God. I took every opportunity that came my way to serve God in this capacity. At the age of 31, God asked me to lay that dream down. My husband and I and our son sold everything we owned and moved across an ocean to be missionaries. I was confident that this was what we needed to do and I trusted that God was leading us in the best direction for our lives. I clung to scriptures like Jeremiah 29:11 and I recited Matthew 28:19 over and over again. ‘

The Hillsong song, Oceans was constantly in my head, ‘You called me out upon the waters’. I was confident in my love for God and in his love for me. It didn’t hit me until we got there, that I realised what I had given up: the dream of being a worship leader. And that’s when I lost it. I lost hope. I lost faith. I lost my love for Jesus. I was journalling and telling Jesus to leave me alone. I told Him that I didn’t want anything to do with Him. I kept reading my Bible because I knew it was the right thing to do, despite the feeling of being abandoned by God. God continued to speak to me. Every scripture I read spoke of his love. Every scripture was an ‘in your face’ kind of reminder that God would never leave me. Hebrews 13:5.

Looking back now, I see that God had a new dream to give me. He had a vision for my life that reached far beyond just singing. I just couldn’t see it in the moment. I can’t explain to you everything that God did for me and the words He spoke to my heart and have it mean to you what it means to me. But I guarantee you that if you are willing to risk hoping again, God will show up.

The best part of 1 Corinthians: 13 is verse 8 that reads, ‘Love never fails’. God will never fail you. When it seems like you are drowning, when you feel lost or abandoned, God is love and love never fails.